Frequent flyer- you know who you are

You were so, so nice. I’m not taking that away from you. You asked me about my book and where I was going, and I replied though I am ashamed to say I could not look you in the eye because I was so FUCKING PISSED.

A typical plane seat in economy class is approximately 17 inches. Breaking down my 9.2-hour roundtrip journey, I paid approximately $127 for those 17 inches. By my most modest calculations, you owe me $27.70 for the four inches of comfort and privacy you robbed me of. Let’s round that figure up to $30 for that spot where your massive thigh was rubbing against me the whole 2.5-hour flight. Add another $5 (again modest) for our shared armrest having to be up because you could not fit in the seat when it was down. If I wanted to put my seat back, I had to pretend like it wasn’t embarrassing for you (yes, I was concerned about your feelings, too) for me to ask you to lean forward so I could pull out the armrest a little and push in my button. Good thing I didn’t want to see the in-flight movie. (I won’t even go into you eyeing my bag of pretzels).

I by no means hate fat people. I believe in the freedom to do or eat anything you want (I won’t even go into you eyeing my bag of pretzels) so long as it does not infringe on my freedom. This is purely a matter of financial injustice.
I’m just saying that if you need two seats, pay for two seats. Don’t hate on the skinny guy who paid just as much, if not more, for those precious 17 inches of limited plane space.
If you’re out there, please mail $34.63 before May 8th or $34.61 after (I’ll pay for the stamp—it’s only fair).