is my rebuttal to Andi’s review of last night’s Rock Star

Before I give my Rock Star rebuttal, let me just say, yes, I agree Janelle should have, could have, but they all need to chill on my woman. Each of their pussy asses could have done the same. Hello, James? Kayser? Enough said. Will is a dick, but he knows how to play.

Now on to my ROCKSTAR review and rant…

I think that it is clear by now Dilana is and will be the lead singer of Narcotics Anonymous. She has the look (for them, not sure I would want to wake up next to that in the morning) the sound and the presence. Did you see Gilby drool as she hit the Axl like scream? Yes, girlfriend, you are on your way to stardom.

For the dudes, I at first thought that Toby had redeemed himself and had the best chance of kicking Dilana in the tits to knock her out of contention. Then along came Ryan. Not only is that the greatest song, but the whole solo thing playing the keys…. “I” wanted to spoon with him. Great job. Dilana, get to work because he is your biggest threat. Throw a voodoo spell on him or some shit.

Other noticeable mentions where;

Patrice. She looked good even with the “There’s Something About Amy” hair gel look. Dave gave her shit, but he hasn’t been getting any since Carmen bailed. Honestly I think her biggest problem was she was afraid of offending Gibly. Not trying to grind or push up on anyone. Either that or maybe Tommy was hanging out and she was in awe. She was good.

Storm was good. I think that she Cha.. Cha.. Cha.. Changed… One too many times in each verse, but what do I know. Her voice is awesome, and although I do not want to eat the corn out of her shit like Andi does, She looked hot. But you have to admit, the eyes were like just dying to bug out! Her face was contorting trying to hold them back.

Josh…I have to agree with Ms. Thang. What the hell is your problem boy? Did you have one too many Starbucks enemas or what? I have some advice for ya… You want to be that soulful artsy musician? Go buy a 12 gauge and pull a Cobain. You wanna front Narcotics Anonymous AKA Super Nova? Pull your ego out of your ass and bring it.

Magni, You suck and look like one of the fag clowns from ICP. Next time make sure you have your can of FAGGO. Enough Said!

Jill, I was feeling you at first. But murder one of the best 80’s songs ever and I am kicking your ass to the curb Ho. Save that “I want to be an American Idol, Christina Agulara, gettchi, gettchi, ya ya shit for Karaoke.

Lukas – Good job. I was feeling you and your “Days of Our Lives” missing your family shit, but you sounded just, OK? How does the biggest Musician from Poland or Iceland or where ever the fuck you’re from just sound “OK”? You got the pity vote and the guys are bringing you family over for you, so you better release the nut and start singing. (Did anyone notice Tommy say that his kids were there with him last night? That is because “Ms. Hepatitis C” AKA “Tits on a stick” is off screwing the KID after one of their many marriage ceremonies).

Dana – I loved ya. I love you and I want you! I got the 8 ball and the lube. You bring the box wine.

Last but not least, I have saved the best for last. However in this case with my head down I must concede,

Zayra, what in the FUCK? Dude, you looked like a scanky vampire whore. What is up with the whole Guadalajara super hero shit? To top it off, you have the nerve to try 8675309? Bitch Please! Have you ever even heard that song back in the shanty’s of TJ? Bitch, you need to give it up. You might be hot in a 100-peso, around the world, escort kind way, but you’re no singer, you’re no performer and Canada already has Celine, so you’re fucked. Word of advice, learn English, turn on the radio and listen and find a gay man to dress you.

As Always, love ya Andi. Give me a number and I will call to reconcile my bill. Still waiting on the couch thing.

Oh and real quick, back to Big Brother All-Stars:

Diane, I know that you may get the boot soon. I hear that you’re broke and homeless. I would hate to see ya tricking down on sunset, so give me a call. I have a place for you to sleep and I will put your “Getting Lucky In Kentucky” ass to work.