Older and Wiser

WHILE I – Took my first Jell-O shot off of the belly of a hot striper, I reflected on how at my age most people know where they are going, or already there. Me, I still am undecided. There are several avenues I one day would like to pursue.
AS I – Took the tequila shot from the cleavage of the shooter girl, I thought back on my life. I haven’t done so badly. I kept to the straight and narrow; I haven’t caused or gotten into too much trouble. I can’t say that I have made my parents proud, but I surely have never embarrassed them or brought shame to our family.
WHILE I –Sat there enjoying my 4th lap dance from a naked Mexican girl named Rosa, I wondered if I had really matured. I mean, for a while there I was sure that I was doomed. Destined to end up in jail or even worse, dead. I got my shit together and finished my education, got a decent job and have worked my way up the proverbial ladder. But have I matured?
LATER WHEN –We were at the club and I gave that smoking hot girl a phony name and a cheesy pick up line, I thought to myself, “What if she is the one”? Sure, right now all I can concentrate on are her tits, her ass, but what if this is the future Mother of my children? I know that does not matter now, or later when I have her naked on all fours, taking it like a champ. But would I know? Could my actions change the course of destiny?
WHILE WE – Had a beer chugging contest and I snorted beer out of my nose, I looked around at my friends. They all seem to have it together. Wives, children, that big house, the mistress, Why them and not me. Why are they my friends, I thought as beer ran down my neck?
AFTER SHE – Slapped the crap out of me for asking “If she’d ever been eaten properly”, I knew right away that she could never be my future wife, nor the mother of my children as she was a bitch. But I took pleasure in knowing there was one more I didn’t have to worry about offending.
WHEN WE – Decided to see how many shots of Jeager we could down in a minute, I felt really close to this group of friends. I heard the “I love you man” commercial play through my head as the bar chick said “GO”. Shot after shot I downed thinking that this was really a good day. This was having fun. Me and these guys, we were in control, we got this.
FINALLY – Kneeling before the porcelain throne, hurling up the last of the beer, tequila, Jeager and Hooters chicken wings, I swore that I would get that wife. I would have those kids. I would buy that big house. Yes, I would mature and show everyone. I would pave my path and choices and set forth towards then like most adults do. My Mother will be proud, my Father will look upon me from the heavens above saying ‘That’s my boy”.
SHE – Kissed me on the cheek as she tucked me into bed. “I guess I’ll take a rain check tiger, you don’t look like you have much to give right now. And, your question, the answer is I really don’t know”. My head hit the pillow and as it pounded away I thought, fuck it, I like things the way they are.