Friendship

I usually like to post upbeat, funny, bizarre topics here. I surely don’t want to bring anyone down, but I am facing a moral dilemma. There is this couple whom I have been friends with for some time. I am not really as close to my friend’s wife as I am with him. He and I have hung out for years. But over all I consider them both to be good friends. The other day we were hanging out and he says that he has to tell me something. He tells me that he has recently gone for a check up and the doctor has diagnosed him with a pretty much fatal disease. I won’t go into the details of it, but he could possible make it another 6 years but probably not much more. I was floored because he seems very healthy and normal. He acted like it was no big deal. His attitude was “if it is my time, then so be it”. I dropped the subject, I didn’t want to dwell on it, and he didn’t much seem to want to continue the conversation either.

Later that night we were out having drinks and checking out a local club. I was having a great time when it hit me that my friend was dying (or would be very ill at some point). With a few drinks down, at the right moment I asked him what his wife thought. He looked me in the eyes and said, “I don’t know”. It took me a minute but then I caught on. “You didn’t tell her,” I said. “Nope, no need for her to know. She’ll know when everyone else knows”. He left it at that and I haven’t brought it up again. Knowing him, I took that to mean that she’ll know when he dies. Now where does one draw the line in a friendship?

They are not hurting for money so my concern for her is not a financial one. But she loves him to death (OK, bad choice of words). She will be devastated when and if he dies. Then for her to find out he knew all along would be horrible for her. He technically didn’t tell me “Don’t say anything”, but it was sort of implied. I am wracking my brain as to if I should tell her or talk to him and try and convince him to tell her. On one hand I think that it is pretty shitty and selfish of him not to tell her, but on the other hand if it were me and I felt the same way he does I wouldn’t want one of my best friends betray me.

So I ask all of you. You all seem much more intelligent and rational than I (Even Willy Joe), give me some advice. This one is eating me inside and I have to do something. I feel this weight on me and I need it off. I have even talked myself into thinking that a friend wouldn’t put this on another friend. But that is not necessarily true either. As far as I know, besides his doctor I am the only other person that knows his condition. Hoping for some outsider thinking and advice.

Thanks