It wasn't me

It amazes me that the body and mind can be subject to insane amounts of alcohol and still somewhat function. I am not sure what is worse, waking up and feeling like a dried up dog turd, or having to hear all about the details of the aforementioned insane amounts of alcohol.
This weekend yours truly decided to get back to his roots and celebrate all that is Cinco de Mayo. Growing up in the predominately Hispanic population of Southern California, Cinco de Mayo was always a huge deal. It wasn’t just a day of celebration. It usually consisted of taking vacation and preparing for a wild few days of drinking, dancing and drunkenness. Mike set out this weekend to try and relive some of that. All names have been withheld or changed to protect the guilty:
I left work early Friday afternoon, went home and found my loudest, brightest Hawaiian shirt. It seemed a suitable garment for me to express my eagerness to tell the world, “Happy Cinco de Mayo”. I remember the huge festival tent set up Downtown. The event was sponsored by “Corona” an excellent beverage. I remember hitting on the “Corona Girls”, meeting them later at a country bar (I have no clue) and I remember them challenging me to ride the mechanical bull. I am told that Tequila played a huge part in the celebration and I recall bits and pieces of the Tequila shooting. Anyone that knows me knows that at all cost, Mike is to refrain from Tequila. I remember the sun coming out, fish tacos and the night arriving once again. I recall the smell of the piedmont mulch as I knelt behind the bushes and hurled. I remember not being let into a club because I had only one shoe.

What I do not recall nor take any responsibility for is getting up doing Elvis Karaoke, almost getting killed on the mechanical bull, throwing up on the hot Corona girl and her friends, loosing a shoe, cussing out a taxi driver, all of the stains on my shirt, doing the hokie pokie, making out with the hot Corona girl after apologizing for puking on her, how many Tequila shot I had, letting female patrons of the “Dirty Bird” (A local club) lick alcohol off of my body, plugging up a “Burger King” toilet, going to Burger King, ending up at Matt’s house on the futon with the hot Corona girl, pissing in Matt’s sink, and getting home.

In any case, I am back and alive and ready to kick some blogging ass! I have made changes to the blog, mostly for security. I hope everyone had a Happy Cinco de Mayo! If anyone has a hangover remedy, please let me know.