SAY WHAT?

Men are simple. Like a dog. Not in the usual “Men are dogs” way, but we can learn to do tricks, learn to be obedient and obey. The basics. We can not lick our balls unfortunately, or I would never leave the house, but in comparison to a canine, we’re pretty easy and straightforward. Women on the other hand are complex. I don’t think that I will ever truly understand them. Women talk in riddles and drop little hints that we are suppose to pick up on, catch on to and know what in the hell they are saying. Ladies, men don’t do well with the hints. If you have something to say to us, come out and say it.
Today is Monday. Not the usual Monday, but the Monday after a long weekend. Things back up naturally at the workplace and everything seems much larger, more important than it really is or usually is. Everyone is in catch up mode and there is not a lot of anything else going on. It was no different for me. The day was flying by. Usually I will stop and BS with the others in my department and ask how their weekend was, that sort of stuff. Not today. Strictly business. About 11:30 one of the guys in my department walked by me and said, “Man, you fucked up”. I asked as to what he was talking about and as usual, he didn’t have the details. He is one of these suck asses that eavesdrops on others conversations only getting enough to spread shit all throughout the department and building. It appears that Cindy, a girl in accounting was not happy with me. Cindy is this chick that has recently broken off a long-term relationship. Rumor has it that it was with another chick. I find that part hard to believe because she is pretty hot, and most carpet munchers I have ever known or seen were anything but hot. Except in the movies that is. Either way, it really wasn’t relative. She is one of the people that hang at our lunch table almost daily. Her and I are friendly, but I wouldn’t say that we were exactly friends, beyond our working relationship and our group lunch gatherings. Why in the hell would she be mad at me? Again, I had to consider the source. It started to really eat at me so I decided to go find out what the deal was.
I head over towards Cindy and asked her how her day was going. I made it look like I was just passing by, not a deliberate mission to find out what was up her pretty lesbian ass. She kinda grunted something and did not smile or even look at me. This stopped me in my tracks. “What is your deal today”, I asked her? She replied as a typical woman who is not happy would. “As if you would care”, was her answer. I tried to get what was wrong out of her (another major malfunction with women, you know something is wrong, but unless you guess, or at least take a shot at it, you’re never getting it out). After playing 20 questions with her it seems that she waited all weekend, the long weekend for me to call her. “WHAT”? She claims that she told me that she wanted to hang out and do something. “WHEN”? Rewinding back to our conversation, she asked “So you doing anything this weekend”? Which I replied that I would do the family thing on Thanksgiving, but other than that I had no plans. She told me that now that she was “on her own” she didn’t have any plans either. Well, in woman talk this was meant for me to decipher as, “I am all alone, I am a converted lesbian who needs some rebound sex, call me”. Hell, I didn’t even have her number. Which I made a point of telling her. She pointed out that her cell number was on the employee contact list.
Bad news – I missed out on 4 days of what can only be imagined as incredible sex, with a former lesbian coming out of a long relationship, who assumedly hasn’t the hammer laid to her in those said years. The thought of it and the fact that I missed it makes me nauseous.
Good news – I know she is interested, and after some apologizing for not getting the HINT and some ass kissing, I still have a shot.