Critique of the Obiquitous Goatee

Warning: This Critique contains no intelligent subject matter, faux-profound political insights, or tips on how to have sex with the mentally challenged.
As a recently single woman I have been utilizing every resource available (Match,com, Friendship Network, tying a six-pack around my neck), to help locate a suitable man for dating or a possible relationship. The dating scene is much different than it was in Chicago during the 80’s and 90’s when I was in my teens and early twenties. Perhaps it is not that the Valley is a less “social” and outgoing community, though the dearth of hotspots might indicate otherwise, perhaps it is dating in your late 30’s/early 40’s that is truly the issue. I have been contacted by some seemingly honest and nice men (the other category is a rant unto itself!}, but there has been very little in the way of physical attraction. The number one attraction killer, so far, is the goatee. It seems like many of my fellow 30 something’s have not been able to let this fashion statement from the nineties die. I have a few theories on this grooming observation. 1) is the above stated wanting to go back to the nineties to be 20 somethings again. 2) a futile effort to hide the growing chin line that has come with the ten plus years 3) a desire to be perceived as a little “edgy” and hip despite the off-name polo shirt, pleated khakis, and minivan. As I read this, I am appalled at how shallow and vain I sound but I would like to think of this as a “Public Service” announcement and shed some light on a possible reason why “chicks don’t dig you like they used to”. Try something new and set your own trend; perhaps it is time for the Hitler moustache renaissance.