Riddle with a twist

I just returned from shoveling snow over at Mom’s place. She called me today with her obnoxious way she has about her. Before I knew it she had guilted me into coming over after work and shoveling her walk. I lied and told her that I had a date and couldn’t stay long. That was enough excitement for her. I’ll bet as soon as I left she called every other old biddy she knew to spread the news that I will be dispensing my baby batter, in her quest for me to get someone knocked up so she can have some grandbabies to treat better than she ever treated me while I was growing up.

While I was shoveling this wet, heavy crap, I couldn’t help notice, um, OK, I am a pervert. I glanced up at her neighbor’s upstairs window (hey the light came on, cut me some slack) and saw this smoking hot chick, her back turned to me, changing. What would you do? OK, never mind, I stood there and just stared in awe at this lovely figure. I watched as she took off her blouse, then her jeans. Standing there in her bar and underwear I saw that she had the most lovely ass on her, tight, round, yes it was beautiful! She turned around and I almost shit. She looked to be about 15, and I quickly shook my head and continued shoveling. I was in the home stretch, almost done with Mom’s sidewalk, when a city snow plow came by and almost buried me in snow and recovered the sidewalk I had just shoveled. Prick!

Today I was eating lunch in the building. It was too messy and fucked to go out and we have a cafeteria. I was chilling alone getting my bacon cheese burger on when I hear “Can I sit with you”. Yes, it was the chick I had met in the smoking area. I just stood there mouth gaping. See, when I first met her the other day she was bundled up, she had a huge jacket on. Now am a seeing something I had missed. She has a rack on her to die for. I am not really a tit guy, I prefer the moderate to small breasted girls, but these babies were in my face as if saying hello. At LEAST D’s. “Sure”, I said and she sat. Once again, she began the endless conversation, giggles, and babble.

Once again, I had no clue what she was saying. I just sat there dipping my fries in the catsup and staring at her tits, catching every fourth or fifth word she said. She once again dropped the Boyfriend bomb on me, this time with a twist. She explained that this weekend was going to suck. Apparently, Mr. Huge titty lover was out of town on some hunting or fishing trip, doing the manly guy thing and she would be all by her lonesome. She said that she has wanted to go out dancing and drinking but that she had no one to go out with. OK, that was a direct hit. Ceasing the moment, I tell her that I could accompany her out if she’d like. “Well, I really don’t know you very well”, she said. “Bitch please, you know you want my balls slapping up against your ass”, I thought to myself. “Just a suggestion”, I say and played it off as if it really didn’t matter to me either way. In all actuality however, I was envisioning my face buried between those massive titties! “I didn’t say no, I just don’t want to come off as, well, you know” she replied. “A SLUT” I thought, but instead just smiled and told her that it was up to her. We finished our lunch and went back to work. Right before I left to go see Mom, she showed up at my cube and said that she would take me up on my offer and asked for my number. She made a point to stress that we were just hanging out and that no one could know.

So, is Mike in for some poundage, or is this chick just a tease? Either way it is going to fuck up tomorrow’s planned chat. Here is the deal. I am going to be in the friendly CHAT room at 6PM eastern. I will stay until 8:30PM. I had planned a longer bitch session, but a guy’s gotta do what a guy’s gotta do. I am in need of some bad! So bad in fact that my dick is telling me to “talk to the hand”. Let me hear ya.