Cell Phone Safety

Does anyone remember life before cell phones? Does anyone recall departing a plane and seeing a rush of people running for the phone booths? Does anyone remember what it was like to roam the earth freely with out having a vibration in your pocket, or having to listen to everyone else’s witty personal gay little ringer choices? Really, how important must one be to not even be able to drive down the street without having to hold a conversation? Why is it that nine out of ten children have a cell phone with them in class? Isn’t everyone they know there with them?

To the soccer mom in the minivan who obviously perceived her call more important then the big fucking red stop sign and proceeded to enter the intersection at full speed, which caused me to swerve, hit the car on my right and plow into the street light, I would like to apologize for not recognizing you as a “Very Important Person”. We are fine by the way, not that you stopped or even noticed you almost killed us, but then again, your call was important. My black eyes will return to normal, the stitches will come out of my body at some point and I am sure that my ribs will heal. Hopefully my insurance people will understand your importance and pay off my vehicle. Hopefully they will understand and take care of the ambulance ride and my stint in the ER. Lastly, I would like to apologize for the unsympathetic police officer that interrupted your call and placed you under arrest.